If you've started learning French, you've almost certainly hit this wall: two words that both mean "you" — tu and vous. Which one do you use? When does it change? And what happens if you choose the wrong one?
The good news: the rule itself is simple. The tricky part is training your instincts, because English has collapsed this distinction entirely. Let me walk you through everything.
The basic rule: singular vs. plural, formal vs. informal
Tu is singular and informal. You use it with one person you know well — a friend, a family member, a child, a classmate.
Vous does two jobs. First, it is the plural of "you" — you use it any time you're speaking to more than one person, regardless of how well you know them. Second, it is the formal singular — you use it with one person you want to show respect to.
Think of it this way:
- tu = one person, close relationship
- vous = more than one person, OR one person you're being formal with
When to use tu
Use tu with anyone where the relationship is warm, equal, and familiar:
- Friends and classmates
- Family members (parents, siblings, cousins)
- Children (any child)
- Pets (yes, French people tutoie their dogs)
- Close colleagues you've worked with for years
- Fellow students at university
— Tu viens ce soir ? → Are you coming tonight? (to a friend)
— Tu as faim ? → Are you hungry? (to a child)
— Tu travailles où maintenant ? → Where are you working now? (to a classmate)
When to use vous
Use vous in any of these situations:
- Speaking to someone older whom you've just met
- Speaking to a professional in a formal context (doctor, lawyer, official)
- Customer-facing situations (shop assistants, receptionists, waiters will use vous with you)
- Speaking to your boss or a senior colleague (in a formal company)
- Any situation where you're unsure — vous is always the safe choice
- Addressing more than one person at once, in any context
— Bonjour, vous désirez ? → Hello, what would you like? (waiter to customer)
— Est-ce que vous avez un rendez-vous ? → Do you have an appointment? (receptionist)
— Vous avez des questions ? → Do you have any questions? (teacher to a group)
The verb forms change too
This is where learners often stumble. Tu and vous take different verb endings, and you have to match them correctly.
With tu, most verbs end in -s in the present tense:
Tu parles français. → You speak French.
Tu vais bien ? → Are you well?
Tu fais quoi ce weekend ? → What are you doing this weekend?
With vous, verbs end in -ez (with a few exceptions like vous êtes, vous faites, vous dites):
Vous parlez très bien français. → You speak French very well.
Comment allez-vous ? → How are you? (formal)
Vous connaissez Paris ? → Do you know Paris?
What happens if you get it wrong?
Using tu when you should use vous (called tutoyer someone incorrectly) can come across as rude or overly familiar — especially in France, where the distinction is taken quite seriously. It's the linguistic equivalent of calling your boss by their first name on the first day of work before they've invited you to.
The reverse — using vous when tu would be natural — is less offensive, but it can feel stiff or cold between friends. A French friend might even tease you gently: "On se tutoie !" (We can use tu with each other!)
As a learner, don't panic. People understand you're learning. But getting this right does make a noticeable difference in how naturally you come across.
Regional and generational differences
The line between tu and vous isn't drawn exactly the same everywhere. In Quebec, tu is used much more freely — even with strangers in shops. In Belgium, the formal register tends to be stronger. Among younger generations in France, tu has spread further into workplaces, especially in startups and creative industries.
In general: the more formal the country, the region, or the generation, the more vous you'll hear. When in doubt, start with vous and wait for the other person to switch to tu — that's your invitation to follow.
How to switch from vous to tu
The transition usually happens naturally in conversation. The other person will say something like:
On peut se tutoyer ? → Can we use tu with each other?
Tu peux me tutoyer. → You can use tu with me.
Once they say it, switch immediately and don't go back. Continuing to use vous after someone has explicitly invited you to use tu feels awkward and overly distant.
A quick cheat sheet
- Friend → tu
- Family → tu
- Child → tu
- Stranger → vous (safe default)
- Shop / restaurant / hotel → vous
- Doctor, lawyer, official → vous
- Group of any people → vous
- Not sure → vous
Practice makes this automatic
When you first learn French, tu vs vous feels like a decision you have to consciously make every time. With practice — especially through real conversations — it becomes completely automatic. You'll start to feel it without thinking.
That's exactly what private lessons are great for. In our sessions, I'll use tu with you from the start (because that's how I work with my students), and I'll help you practise switching between registers so you feel confident in any situation — whether you're chatting with a French friend or navigating a formal meeting in Paris.
If you'd like to try a lesson, you can book a 25-minute trial for $15 — no commitment, just a chance to speak French and see how you get on. I'd love to meet you.